Friday, June 29, 2007

Three Distinct Groups of Friends

When I was younger, almost all my friends were single and had lots of free time on their hands. This made it very easy to plan get-togethers and hang out with the group. We also had lots more in common, which kept the conversations fun and interesting. We were all essentially focused on the same set of things.

Nowadays, I noticed that my friends and acquaintances fall into three distinct groups - Married, Single, and 'Single wanting to be Married'.

The married types are usually more serious, and a bit more boring. They're usually more focused on money and kids and retirement and other grown-up stuff. What's interesting is seeing the transformation in my previously carefree single friends after they get hitched and start families of their own. Frequently, I need to adjust my schedule and patterns to be with this group. And most of the time, it's just having dinner at home with them and the kids, not much fun.

The single group, as expected, usually have lots more activities to fill up the excess time. Boredom is their number one enemy. They are also a bit more relaxed, but can get worked up very quickly on issues that are not at all important to married friends. Being single myself, I find this group very easy and fun to be with. I can be more loose with them and not worry about how late the time is, or how useless the conversation is.

The third type refers to single types who want to shift to the 'married' group. After some time, it gets quite depressing and stressful being with them. I cringe whenever they say some of their favorite lines: "We need to get married soon" or "We're all getting older". And they're also usually the first to move away from you once they do get married, sad but true. Sometimes married friends will say something similar, to the effect of myself needing to get married as it will solve all my problems (and presumably to join the club).

It's cool when you have hybrids of one or more types. For instance, I have several married friends who take care of huge responsibilities, but who still stay relatively relaxed and carefree. Though their family is still their top priority, they did not allow themselves to be consumed by them. There are also single types who are much more mature and responsible in their thinking, yet being able to adjust depending on who they're with.

Of the three groups, which do you belong to, and which do you consider to be your closest friends?

1 comment:

rmacapobre said...

i think i belong in the single wanting to get married group. although since there is no chance of that ever happening i keep myself occupied with other things which i can do. like studying .. or trying to loose weight